my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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