Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
