Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
COCAINE IS GR8
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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