I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
