just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
