I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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