I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize