she looked like the bat from fern gully.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
