Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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