Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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