He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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