He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
