You work out of a Hotel?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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