Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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