Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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