i just google imaged poop.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
