so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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