I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Terrible idea I love it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
