Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
