and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
