My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
