im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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