i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
