Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
