whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
