is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize