We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
