Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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