Don't make out with my wife yet
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My vagina is very pro this idea
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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