no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
