I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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