Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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