Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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