even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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