It's Friday. Sex?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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