Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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