The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
