Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize