i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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