What a fucking waste of an outfit
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
