Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
