OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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