i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
