too bad you live with your parents still
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
