Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
