Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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