I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
