So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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