You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need moral support for this bender
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
