the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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