remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's the barista slut.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
