Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You need a sexual gate keeper
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So I just went to clothing optional bar
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
