We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
