How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
