my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
