Apparently you make a good broom.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
