I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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