it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
