Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
